That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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