Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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