Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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