Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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