So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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