it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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