I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize