Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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