Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
