Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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