That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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