yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
