I think im going to throw up on grandma
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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