I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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