dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
