when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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