His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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