I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
