In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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