Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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