Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
