hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
