i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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