I puked a lego.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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