need another drink. this is the easiest way
Porn is love you can see.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Are we still banned from the library?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
