He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
