bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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