I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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