You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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