We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
