We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
