If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize