how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
