it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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