so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize