Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
