I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize