Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
