He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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