We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
