I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
