But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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