that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
