my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
