Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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