and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Small penises have feelings too.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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