You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize