ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
