Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
ttyl tear gas
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
