its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
