he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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