sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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