I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
