Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
