i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize