Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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