We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
