I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
