You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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