The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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