That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Someone shit on the floor
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
