...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
