I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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