How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
