That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
