totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
