my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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