Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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