he wants to bone in the snuggie
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
