so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
