My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm at about main and main street
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
