Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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