There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize